contact has been made

Hmm. 2003 sucked great big, hairy donkey balls in the areas of male companionship, education, and finances. It was good in the areas of friendship, booty, and housing.

Well I just wrote a whole long thing about my fun X-mas, but I accidentally hit ESC and it all erased. I am way too lazy to write it over again. So there.

HOLY HOLY HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT!!!!

My student loans from my last school have passed their grace period. Now instead of the happy old $89 a month, I have to pay $389 a month. Congratulations, me! I now owe $40k. That is more than I will ever make in one year. Oy vey.

I was walking in Harvard Square and saw a bench with “Bush sucks dick” scribbled lazily on the back in orange marker. I thought it was funny– I mean, it was obviously an afterthought. No committee or organization went into planning this random act of graffitti.

Oh yeah, I forgot! As of Saturday, I officially OWN MY PIECE OF SHIT CAR!!! Yayyyy! Now I can sell it for the 50 cents it’s worth and buy some crack!

Did I say I needed to cut down on drinking? So the 4 glasses of wine, 4 PBRs, one shot of tequila and hit of wacky tobaccky weren’t necessary? Oh yeah, probably not. It was fun, though. I made cheese fritters and brought them to Poindexter’s house; he was having a movie party. We all watched Beautiful Girls, which is some kind of cult freakout movie that everyone seems to worship for some reason. After, some of us continued on at the Port, and then onto Zuzu’s and ended up at the Middle East. Wow. What a night. All that red wine made my barf a nice shade of pink, though.

The cheese fritters ruled, though.

Now I’m sitting in my office, which is all furnished once again. The sewage smell is gone, and there is brand new carpet on the floor. However, they haven’t yet re-wired my cubicle, so I can’t actually use my computer, and thus can’t do work. I’m using the loaner laptop again. This keyboard is way too small!!

My Chanukah party was really fun! There were just enough people to make it feel like a party, but not so many that is became hard to deal with. Rock on! I made lots of yummy fried things and we all played Get a Life.

Wow, I haven’t posted any shit in 3 days. I think that’s a new record or something. So… what mayhem have I been causing? Ummm…. I had an anxiety dream involving decoupaging last night. I was frantically trying to decoupage this CorningWare baking dish with doilies and pictures of Sid Vicious, in order to appease the ghost of G.G. Allin. Uh, yeah.

I almost forgot. I had a DATE last night. A date! Can you believe it? So it’s this dude I have been emailing from the personals. He is very sarcastic, has a sick sense of humor, and really sharp and creative. We met at the B-Side in Cambridge (or is it in Slummerville?). All was going fine– we talked and joked about random stuff… then he revealed he was a member of a Young Republican group. He made some random comment about Hillary Clinton, and I said, “so I guess now wouldn’t be the time to tell you that my main gripe with Hillary is that she’s pro-death penalty?” We then debated the death penalty. I am so bad at debating. Seeing as the evening ended with a firm Republican handshake as he got into a cab, I’d say that date #2 is probably not likely! He’s a fun guy, though. Too bad our political beliefs are diametrically opposed. Well, not all of them– He IS pro-choice, and we’re both thoroughly irritated by PETA. But still.

Thursday brought more drinking and craziness with CL people. That was cool– we met at the Field in Central and then adjourned to Zuzu’s later. Apparently I got pissed off, hurled insults at people and stomped out. Clara says she was the one hurling insults at me, and I stomped out as a result. Poindexter said I said something about him having sex behind a dumpster, and was upset about that and left. He wasn’t actually there at that point, though, so I don’t know how reliable a source he is. I thought I left because I was tired and needed to wrap presents to give to my co-workers the following day, but who knows? I think I need to start drinking less. That would be a good idea. Definitely.

So today I got to engage in what I do best–naming people. Or, rather, re-naming people. I am such a geek. It isn’t enough that my family members are Pad, Uzi, Slug, Moth, Squidney, and Alllien and my friends are Krustee, Squeals, Mouse, and Bean. I got to turn the CL freaks into holiday-themed-CL-freaks. Thus Fuggy became Fuggnog, Halakahiki82 is now Mele_Kalikimaka82, yesterday = festiveDay, Fugitive = Fugitivity_scene, Rott = Jingle_Bell_Rott, Dark_1 = FestivalOfLight_1, Asshat = AssYarmulke… I can’t remember the rest. But yeah, that was the highlight of my geeky day. Yes, it’s oral exam scheduling time, and I need something to distract me!

It’s much better than reading all the crap about how we’ve caught Saddam Hussein and what we’re gonna do with him, and what we’re gonna make him tell us, and what he’s gonna do, etc. etc. Yeah, we have him. Now what? Try him for crimes against humanity? Like we care. After all, we cared enough about human rights to give Pinochet a nice trial. Right. The real question is–are they going to execute him in time for Bush to get re-elected (well, not exactly “re”, since he wasn’t exactly “elected” in the first place). Gack.

Oh yeah, if you’re wondering what to get me for Christmakkuh, and can’t afford the fake dog butt, or the Dr. Who underwear, here is my Amazon.com wishlist. It still cracks me up that, thanks to the miracle of the Internet, people have even less reason to verbally communicate anymore! Now I can save time by saying to, say, Pad, “yo, I’d really like Martin Amis’s new book for Christmas.” All I have to do is impersonally send him a link. Or, put a link in my blog (which, incidentally, has been visited exactly 666 times today since I put the counter up) that says BUY ME STUFF NOW!

That pains me to write, actually. I really do enjoy giving presents more than getting them. I’ve made some really cool stuff this year, and I can’t wait to see the look on people’s faces when they open up some of these things. Moth got the best deal– I think she’ll really like her loot. Krustee’s is pretty rad, too. I can’t say any more than that! I’m really happy with how everything came out–a lot of it was completely new ideas that I haven’t done in the past! So, you can all be happy that there is very little beadwork involved this year, too.

blah. Today is blah. Grey and slushy, nothing to do… they removed all the furniture from my office, and took out the carpet. We got them to put back part of my desk, as well as Danielle’s so we can work. So now I’m at a makeshift workstation in a completely bare room, and the floor is all sticky with old carpet glue. Pete left his Cds in my car, so at least I burned all his Smiths onto the computer at work and am listening to them!

So here we are, having another lovely snowstorm. Woo-hoo! Maybe they’ll cancel work!

Gack. I’m burned out making holiday presents. I’ve been decoupaging, painting, stringing beads, and sanding all weekend. You’ll all be happy to know that none of you are getting any knitted or crocheted items this year! (a giant sigh of relief goes up from family members). I’ve been doing a lot of collages. I’m particularly obsessed with the Stop n Shop circulars this year. I love making collages. I guess it runs in the family. I mean, we were adopted–it’s kinda of what mom & dad did– fabricated a family out of someone else’s unwanted leftovers, much like I made that Virgin Mary out of loser lotto tickets I found on the ground. I like making crap out of crap. I mean, garbage, refuse, trash, whatever. It’s very rewarding taking something you see everyday in massive amounts littering the ground and turning it into something that will annoy people (i.e., “art”).

So, I have Christmakkuh pretty much out of the way (family this year = +1 baby [stepbro], -1 husband [Allie’s] & 2 kids [steve’s offspring] from divorce == net gain -2 presents to make this year! Woo-hoo!). Thank god I don’t have any stupid boyfriend I have to lavish with gifts. See? Being a spinster has its economic advantages! Come to think of it, the last S.O. I had during Christmas was Maaax. I’ve planned these past 5 years out pretty well, haven’t I? In the unlikely event that I ever find myself coupled again, remind me to dump the dude before Christmas.

Ok, Christmas, Chanukah out of the way. Which means, it’s almost my birthday. Ack. It’s not like I even care about getting older anymore. I mean, 30, 31, 80, they’re all the same. It’s the day itself that bites.

It never fails–whenever I tell anyone my birthday is on December 31st, they always exclaim, “that’s great! That must be so fun!” I either lie and say “yeah,” or I tell them the truth, “no, it sucks” to which they invariably reply “but everyone’s partying on your birthday!” Exactly. This is reason #1 why being a New Year’s baby stinks: everyone’s partying. But not because it’s my birthday. In fact, nobody even remembers my birthday, because they’re too busy partying. Because everyone has special parties they always go to, they will invariably be too busy to come to mine, should I even have one. Even if an old curmudgeon like myself gets invited to a party, nobody will notice or care if it’s my birthday. Presents? HAH! I get the all-in-one birthchristmakkuh present. If I do actually get a present, it is usually something like lavender-scented shower gel or other item someone got for Christmas and didn’t want. Add to that everyone’s broke after Christmas, and doesn’t want to go out for dinner, go out for drinks (even the crappiest of bars have ridiculous covers on Dec. 31 anyway), or anything else. Thus, if I want to do anything, I have to treat everyone myself. The holidays are a pain in the ass. Everyone knows this. By the time my birthday rolls around, people are completely burned out, and having to acknowledge my birthday becomes just another part of the Problem. Grrr.