contact has been made

Here I am, typing as fast as Pad’s Pentium II will let me, connected with his 56k modem. Windows 98 has been attacked by a Russian virus he got from downloading ex-Communist porn, and I’m attempting to save the day. So far it’s taken about an hour to download 1/2 of the basic McAffee virus software. As each page takes about a minute to load, I’m not going to be too wordy!

Today Pad and I went to the world’s largest sporting goods store, geared towards fisherman and hunters. We drooled over the camping equipment for a while, and I got replacement candles for my camping lantern. It was like a mall for males. Seriously, I have never been in a store where the male to female ratio was so high! Testosterone oozed from the walls as be-mulleted guys sized up fishing rods and shotguns. I still want a folding chair with a giany Canada goose canopy. Supposedly, the geese you are shooting won’t realize that there’s a human hiding under the 4-foot goose butt, but I know they’re smarter than that. I want to seit on the banks of the Charles and torture them with one of the myriad duck calls that they also sell. all the geese will be freaking out, windering where the Wood Ducks and Common Mallards are. Maybe I’ll throw in some moose and deer calls while I’m at it!

When I went to log into my WebCert thing for unemployment, they told me I had to call them again because there was something wrong. Again. Oy. So I spent like 5 years on hold, listening to the same perky acoustic guitar tune over and over (they only have one tune that they play. too cheap for real Muzak, I guess), got transferred to other departments a few times,  and lo and behold! They’re mailing my check out tomorrow! Woo-hoo!!

And with that, I journey westward to the land of my birth until Sunday.

Where the skies are so gray
Sweet home, Massachusetts
I got back here just today…

And it only took 4 hours, as it should have!

I was walking through Downtown Crossing on my way to the T from the bus, and a car was driving around honking its horn. It had a big dummy of George Bush strapped to a trailer, and it was advertising pantsonfire.net. The police were on it in a second. I heard them gleefully announce, “this may be our first loony of the day!” The police are everywhere in full force, just in case anything happens at the Democratic National Convention. Basically, everyone in Boston is super irritated.

My cell phone died inexplicably. I went to get it replaced today, but the dudes at the Nextel store said I couldn’t get a new phone without signing up for a new plan. After some cajoling, they gave me the name of the Nextel repair place in Charlestown. I went over to see if they could fix my phone, but they’re closing at 2:00 this week because of the DNC. Grrr! I’d really like to know if I get a callback for any of the 10 million jobs I applied to last week while I’m at Mom’s house! Or, if I hear anything from the MGH people I interviewed with on Friday! Stupid Nextel. Stupid DNC.

Poutine! Poutine!! I had poutine today! You can get it on Second Ave in the East Village. Yay poutine!!

We wandered around the city, and it was pretty cool. We went to this giant flea market and then… Poutine!!

I’m almost finished with my book, Random Family (or rather, Rae’s book that she lent me). The bad news is… The bus ride to NYC took 8 hours, so I missed the Devo (and stellastarr* and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, of course, but who’s keeping track?) show. Alas, there goes $37.50.

But, NYC still is fun! And, I beat Krustee and Boggle at 3 games, and tied one. We’re going to the Transit Museum today! Yay!

Yay! I’m going to see Devo in about 18 hours!

Then a nice 2-day hangout time in NYC, possibly visiting none other than the MTA Transportation Museum, which Krustee and I have been waiting to re-open with baited breath.

Oh yeah, there’s a job interview to fuck up in there– I already got the dis from all the Tufts jobs I applied to. We’ll see how much Mass General hates me tomorrow!

Then… back for Sean’s birthday, and then…

Off to the Wilds of Central NY, where the men watch NASCAR and the women abandon babies in dumpsters! Well, actually… I’m off to Ithaca, where everyone just eats tofutti, and incestuously breeds with multiple permutations of the large hippie families in town. Yeaaaaaaaaahhh maaaaaaaannn. It’s an entire town overrun with self-righteous Baby Boomers! Yippeee!

But, I will have the opportunity to further corrupt my niece, and to shoot the shit with Moth and Slug. That should be fun. Uncle Nick and an undisclosed number of his offspring are also up visiting, so that should be cool!

In a fit of irritation, I cut my hair short the other night. It is SO MUCH nicer to deal with! It was so long that even if I put it up, it was hot and sticky. It required a zillion bobby pins to keep it off my neck, and even putting it in a ponytail wasn’t enough, because it is so long it would stick to my neck. Now it takes a grand total of 3 seconds to deal with it in the morning. Yay for low-maintenance!

It’s currently in the standard this-is-the-only-haircut-I-can-do-on-myself bob. The Assmunchkin and his cronies at the Port the other night were picking on me, saying I look like Miss Swan from Mad TV. Hah! I so do not. I *do* look more Asian, though, which is kind of annoying. I strive to deny my cultural heritage, as the liberals would say. I just want to be a plain old boring honkey, no questions asked. I want to be the tabula rasa; the blank slate that I can paint with anything.

I have finally entered the new millennium! Robin gave me his old DVD player, and I got a converter box thing to hook it up to my 1983-model tv. I watched the bonus disk from the Indiana Jones trilogy DVD set I got for my birthday finally! ROCK ON!! DVD players are neat. You don’t have to rewind the DVDs when you’re done. How strange.

I have a job interview! Yay! It’s for a staff assistant III position at Mass General Hospital (the cardiology department or something). Friday morning! It’s gonna make getting on a bus to go see Devo a bit of a squeeze, but hey! It’s a job interview!! Perhaps my 6 week stint of being an unemployed loser will come to an end! Of course, there’s  the whole “why did you leave Harvard?” question… that one never makes them happy. I think I’ve candy-coated it as much as possible, but I’m still pretty much blacklisted from the workforce. Oh well. There’s always Starbuck’s, I suppose. I mean, if they’re hiring, unlike Dunkin Donuts.
 
Crap. I’m gonna have to dress up for this interview. I don’t think I have any dress-up clothes that are appropriate for hot weather. Oy.
 
 

Today was largely unproductive. I applied for like, 20 more jobs mopping puke and keeping track of patients at Mass General hospital. This is in addition to already applying to every single job at Lawrence Memorial Hospital, Mt. Auburn and St. Elizabeth’s. I figure, if I’m blacklisted from most universities, maybe hospitals would be better. I don’t want to have to be a corporate drone yet– maybe hospitals would be better than big companies. I’ve worked for enough small businesses to know that they can be poorly run and weird to work for. My options are running out, though. Beggars can’t be choosers, and my time is running out! I did finally hear back from the Unemployment people. Apparently, I’m gonna get something in the mail soon– either a check, or something telling me why I’m not getting a check. I just love the suspense. Sigh.
 
Other than applying for a zillion jobs, I didn’t get much accomplished. I should do laundry or something. It’s been really muggy– everything in my room is completely soggy. It reminds me of being back in Ireland.