I’m too tired to even write some lame anecdote about a random amusingly lame customer. I pretty much just want to bludgeon them to death with a loaf of gluten-free bread. Have you ever picked up a loaf of glutenless bread? That shizzle weighs a freaking metric ton and a half! You could totally tie a threatening note to it and lob it through someone’s window! You could build skyscrapers with it! You could bludgeon your husband to death with it and then serve it to the police for dinner! (sorry, having a Roald Dahl moment)

I am the awesomest ex-girlfriend in the world, though. I picked up the new (gag) Death Cab for Cutie CD for Robin just in time to score one of the last free promo 7-inches that come with it. I figure if no non-crazy human wants me for a girlfriend, I might as well concentrate on being the raddest ex I can be. I’ve already been complimented on my skills as an ex by a couple of different ex-freaks. I may not make the best girlfriend (Fuck, who does? I mean, besides Sarah M. of course, but she doesn’t count because she’s actually an android experiment created to live the clinically Perfect American Dream Lifestyle), but I am a damn fine ex! Note: I still had tea with Squeals’ mom long after we broke up.

I have a weird craving for raspberries. I also want corn. It’s corn season. People keep buying corn (4077) at Sparky’s, but it’s weird. They get like 2 or 3 ears at a time. I don’t think I’ve ever bought fewer than a dozen ears of corn. Sheee-it, I don’t think you can even buy corn in increments less than 12 in those there parts where I’m from. Who makes dinner with just 2 ears of corn? That’s insane! I’ve also been craving broccoli (4060) and green beans (4066). Mmm. Peaches (4044– I could be wrong; they could be 4040). I want peaches. Ringing up expensive produce that’s been cross-bred specifically to look beautiful all day has really put me on a produce craving kick! It’s kind of sad, though. I can’t think about produce without automatically assigning it a number. I see numbers on licence plates and signs and see produce codes in it. Seriously. I saw the number 4053 on something today, and automatically pictured a lemon. Where’s Pavlov when you need him?