I have a NEW CELLPHONE! My old one couldn’t get reception anywhere except in one corner of the kitchen, so all my conversations were held sitting on a chair facing the corner, occasinally wiggling around, hoping that the connection wouldn’t crap out. Now I can walk anywhere in the house and talk! It was free, too. I signed up as part of The Biatch’s family plan, whereas I was on José’s family plan. This is better because it’s cheaper, I have a new phone, and I am closer to the person who I owe money to every month, so I’ll be more apt to pay it on time.

My new smellphone has all sorts of fancy features that my ancient one didn’t. For example, my old phone was heavier than my new phone, in its box, with the charger and manual inside. this new phone is so light I won’t get major back problems just from lugging it around! I can also text message people as much as I want (it’s free and unlimited in this plan)–the old phone could receive messages, but not send them. I can add fancy stuff like extra ring tones, assign different people different ring tones, get new backgrounds and all that stuff that is standard on normal modern phones, but wasn’t on the archaic one of yore that they discontinued manufacturing about a week after I got it. I suppose it’s only about 2 or 3 years old, but in cellphone technological terms I might as well have been lugging around a telegraph machine. Which reminds me–I still want to find a way to implant cell phone technology into my red rotary-dial Kremlin Phone. I think it would be cool to be on the T and have an old-fashioned bell ringer ring, and then me start talking on my giant telephone. But anyway… My number is still the same, which is good, because it took me years to memorize it. If I want to pay some extra kizzash, I can even get my phone to play Scrabble with me!

I’m in love with the modern world.