I Gave Blood Today.
No, seriously, I did. I caused a minor ruckus when I gave them my ID, because I had donated blood under the name Norah before, when all my IDs say Amy. And to think I almost got away with blood donation fraud! Why, I could have donated blood TWICE in any given 8-week period! Do you know what that means? Yes, I’d be scamming the American Red Cross out of EXTRA BAGS OF PRETZELS AND CANS OF WARM GRAPE JUICE!!! MUHAHAHAHAH!!!! unfortunately, my nefarious plan was foiled, and now all blood-related paperwork will say “Amy.” Geez, you’d think I’d just had sex with a man who’d had sex with a man who’d had sex with a hemophiliac who’d been given money or anti-malaria drugs for sex in the mad-cow infested part of the United Kingdom since 1979.
At least my blood iron content was good this time! Awww yeah, baby. The drops of blood that Cathy the Nurse Practitioner squeezed out of my finger dropped to the bottom of that iron-checking vialof greenish liquid like a ton of anvils. Call me Ferrously enhanced, thanks to my intake of generic Frosted Shredded Wheat with their intense fortification of iron! I’m practically Magneto!
However, afterwards I felt sleepy, nauseous and headachy. I’m not sure it had to do with giving blood, but the blood donation certainly didn’t help. I took a nap at Jared’s house and still felt crappy. That sucked, because today was absolutely gorgeous, and we had planned on going to the beach to frolic.
Last night Jared and I went to Wal-Mart in Salem, NH simply because I felt like riding in the car with my new stereo hookup. I also had to return this skirt thing I bought in La Junta, CO while on the road trip that was too small. While at Wal-Mart, I bought the world’s ugliest car seat cover, which I love. The vinyl-covered fabric of the driver’s seat of my car is all shredded in places, so it’s really uncomfortable to sit on if you’re wearing shorts or a skirt. I tried to remedy that by putting a towel down on the seat, but the vinyl stuff is so slippery that the towel shifts around every time you move. So I bought a seat cover so hideous off the clearance shelf, it will make you shield your eyes in terror. this seat cover (they only had one in stock) belongs in a rusty ‘82 Camero with one door the wrong color. The pattern is called “liquid gold.” It’s fake fur in shimmery harvest gold in a pattern of polygons in a darker shade. It looks like what Hugh Hefner would have had for a bathroom rug in the 70s. It clashes with the faded navy blue tasteful-Hawaiian steering wheel cover (the steering wheel heats up to extreme temperatures if the car spends so much as 50 seconds in the sun) beautifully. I definitely have the ugliest car on earth, and I LOVE IT!
