Back to the urban life!
I really don’t miss the boonies. Yes, it was beautiful driving through Scoharie county– the trees were just starting to change colors on the hills, and the fields were undulating feather blankets, waving purple and yellow with various flowers which I am allergic to. The cows dotted the hillsides quaintly and the barns and silos boasted American flags and various slogans reminding passersby of Jesus’s imminent arrival. Yeah, it’s all picturesque and full of quirky things that make good random ironic anecdotes. However, I am a city kid at heart. Give me the hum of constant traffic, the screech of passing trains, the stench of raw sewage, the pitter-pat of rats and possums frolicking in the garbage cans… Provincial life gets really old fast!
Some people like having the toughest decision to make in a day be whether or not to go hang out at the Farmers’ Market (i.e., the place where hippies foist their more-organic-than-thou produce and crafts celebrating forces of nature and various goddesses). Some people don’t mind having to jump in the car every time they need a carton of milk. Many relish the close proximity to Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Barnes & Noble AND Lowes. Most don’t realize that 12% sales tax is FREAKING INSANE (and this coming from a resident of Taxachusetts).
It’s pretty obvious, but I’m glad to be home.
I did have fun with the relations, though. Ari, Jacob and I spent the other evening telling jokes. Here’s an example of one of Jacob’s favorites:
There were these three brothers and one of them got a bow and arrow for Christmas. the other one got a bazooka and the third one got a grenade. The first brother decides to test out his present to he shoots an arrow. He hears a little girl crying and says, “little girl, little girl, why are you crying?” the little girl said “somebody shot my cat!” and the first brother went to jail.
The second brother decided he wanted to try his bazooka, so he went outside and shot it. He heard a little boy crying and says “Little boy, little boy, why are you crying?” The little boy said, “somebody shot my dog!” so the second brother went to jail.
The third brother wants to try out his grenade, so he goes outside and throws it. He hears a little girl laughing and says, “Little girl, little girl, what’s so funny?” The little girl says, “Daddy farted and the house blew up!”
At this point, Jacob and Ari were nearly hyperventilating with laughter, which was funny enough to watch. I told a couple of jokes, including the one whose punchline is “I’m the ghost of Peter Piper, the money stays right in my diaper…” You don’t really need to know the whole joke, since the mere mention of the word “diaper” is what sends small children into convulsions. Ah, I wish I were that easily amused. For example, what’s green and flies over Germany? Wait for it… wait… SNOTZIES!!! Jacob and Ari thought that was hilarious, even though I doubt they have any idea what Nazis are. Oh to be under 10 again…
Squidney hung out with us a lot, and she’s pretty fun. She tried on Moth’s wedding dress and couldn’t even button it up! Moth must have been pretty skinny back in the day. Here is Squidney, posing with a vaccuum cleaner:
Ack. More later. I’m sleepy.
