contact has been made

Well, I’m not approved for the state-funded emergency health insurance. I’m older than 19, and I’m not pregnant nor do I have breast cancer. They’re allowing me to appeal the decision, but I can only check one of the 5 boxes that list the exceptions and changing jobs and not qualifying for health insurance for 60 days isn’t one of them. I’ll bet you anything that come tax time, I’ll have to pay the tax penalty for not having insurance for these two months. Just wait! I totally will have to fork over like $200 or whatever to Uncle Sam, because the way to get poor people to not clog up the city’s emergency rooms is to fine the semi-poor for not having insurance! That makes sense, right? Well, I’m happy that I can ensure that some giant multi-national insurance conglomerate stays on top. The CEO really needs that golf vacation!

Let’s see… the last time I went to the emergency room years ago, the fee ended up being like $600 (but insurance paid for all but $35 of it). That was about 5 years ago, so I’m sure the ER rates have gone up since then. Plus, I had to have a real doctor plus one normal nurse and a super high-ranking nurse all there to pull shit out of my ears, so that will probably cost a whole lot more.

Hmm, stressing out about money? Moi?

Now that my hearing is back, my conjunctivitis is getting worse. Luckily it’s only in one eye, but I can’t really see out of it at all. I should get an eye patch, because it’s annoying to have to see everything with one normal eye and one completely blurred eye. AHRRR, MATEYS!

Shit. I KNEW I should never have gone to the hospital. I’m a wimp. I didn’t think I could wait the 3 weeks until the insurance kicked in. Next time, i’ll know better. Where’s my time machine? Can I go back and undo my hospital visit? Even if it means that I could only hear 25% of Jamie Lidell last week?

Let’s see. I need something to not whine about…
I like the new Ladytron CD a whole lot. It’s really good! I’d go see them in concert in a couple of weeks (with Datarock opening), but I’ll probably officially owe several unborn children to the Cambridge Hospital by then.

Wait, I said I wasn’t going to whine.

I will think up 10 awesome things in my life right now. This means awesome things that ARE, not things that are awesome because of their absence (i.e., it’s awesome that my arms aren’t amputated).

Here goes:

1. the new Ladytron CD is awesome (of course I probably shouldn’t have bought it because now after I pay rent I’ll have exactly $1.33 in the bank) WAIT! THAT WAS WHINING!!! Now I’m going to have to think up 11 things…
2. I have an ancestor named Patience Bacon. I just think that’s a cool name.
3. my wrist feels slightly better
4. uh… Netflix should be sending me disc 3 of MI-5 on Friday, and though I don’t like Adam as much as Tom, he’s growing on me.
5. I just made $46 in freelance jobs in the past week, and one of them was totally a breeze.
6. Tomorrow’s high temperature is predicted to be a balmy 26 degrees [79 Fahrenheit]! Where are my mittens?
7. Since the BPM of most house music falls nicely into the range of bagpipe marches, I have an idea for how to combine the two and maybe have it not suck. Snap your fingers: around the world, around the wor-rld. around the world, around the wor-rld… keep snapping. Now hum “Scotland the Brave.” See? Same tempo! Really! Now, to find a decent hack so my software doesn’t keep expiring… ARHH MATEY! I be a software pirate!
8. I managed to resurrect a large number of dying pothos at one account at work, as well as kill most of the bugs at another one.
9. the withdrawal symptoms from going off the one drug are getting less and less, so I don’t feel like punching things as much.
10. I watched 28 Days Later yesterday and I had forgotten how awesome it was.
    ‘Man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed, the giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the barman says ‘Oi, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.’ Man says, ‘Naw it’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.’

11. After nearly 7 years of searching, I finally found a 9/11 joke!

    Q: What did the hotdog vendor outside the two towers say when the planes hit?

    A: Hey, who ordered the two jumbos?

    (I know it doesn’t have the wit of the Space Shuttle jokes nor the sophistication of Ethiopian jokes, but at least one exists!)

12. uh… uh… I can’t go to bed until I think of one more awesome thing in my life… and it can’t be something abstract like the Stills are coming out with a new CD someday and possibly Daft Punk might tour again and make it with 500 miles of Boston… OK. Something good. OK GOT IT: Lard Ass has managed to keep his bodily fluids contained to his stomach and the litter box. I.e., he hasn’t barfed or peed on anything in a while. That’s a good thing.

    SWEET. I can go to sleep now.