Kind of Dumb Band Names

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Not every band can have a name that's as catchy and easy to remember as, say, Prong. Here is a list of band names, some obscure, some popular. I worked in a record store and therefore was constantly running into a lot these names.

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying that any of these bands are untalented, not clever, or make bad music. I'm just saying that, according to my humble little opinion, they have a poor choice of names. Some of my favorite bands (including !!!, TV on the Radio, Tones on Tail) are on here! I realize that many of these names are probably obscure references to things that I am way not cool enough to catch-- but think about it. If you're not getting the reference then the names just sound, well, dumb!

Band Name My snotty, inane commentary, because I can't help myself.
!!! I love this band. I really do. This is the band I've seen live more than any other band! However, as a record store clerk, it is one of the band names that have given me the most trouble. According to their website, "!!! is pronounced by repeating any three repetitive, monosyllabic sounds. Though the possibilities are endless, the most common pronunciations are Chk Chk Chk, Pow Pow Pow, Uh Uh Uh, Etc Etc Etc. The name was inspired by the subtitles from the film The Gods Must Be Crazy , where three clicking sounds of the mouth were represented as !!!." So do you file it under "c" for "Chk" or at the beginning with the other punctuation marks? Every store is different!
#Poundsign# though I am against unnecessary symbols in band names, I guess the # is appropriate.
(hed) pe I'm kind of dumbfounded by this one.
(smog) was regular "Smog" already taken?
:wumpscut: (a) what is a wumpscut? (b) does it have something to do with colons?
:zoviet*france: are the colons and asterisk really necessary?
…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead this one's got an ellipsis AND a really long name. Even the abbreviation (AYWKUNTToD) is way too long!
00|00 According to their website, this is pronounced "oh-oh-eye-oh-oh," which sounds almost like a NKotB song.
59 Times the Pain come on, you KNOW you wanted it to be 69 times.
764-HERO I wonder how many fans got stoned and dialed this number?
A Gun Called Tension Right. next?
A Life Once Lost This might make a good soap opera name.
A Love Ends Suicide They should have just used "See me crying while writing in my blog about how cruel life is. Alas." and been done with it.
A Minor Forest when they grow up, they'll be a Major Forest.
A Wilhelm Scream Just one?
A Wish For Fire next time wax your match tips before you go camping in the rain.
à;GRUMH... how do you even say this? I thought it was one of those instances where the special characters weren't showing up.
Add n to (x) Pretentious, yet nerdy.
Against Me! The exclamation point for extra paranoia.
alexisonfire Alex is on fire? Alexis on fire? Ale Xi Son Fire? Does it matter?
Anal Cunt oooh, two bad words. Radical. Still...
Anal Mucus

This is just gross. I can picture this conversation:
mom: Where are you going tonight, Timmy?
Timmy: I'm going out to see Anal Mucus.
On second thought, that might be kinda funny.

And Also the Trees yeah, don't forget them.
Angel Corpse ok, this is supposed to present a dichotomy or something. It doesn't work.
Architecture in Helsinki This band has nothing to do with architecture, nor are they from Finland.
As All Die I guess Death and Megadeth had already been taken by other bands.
As Friends Rust All your friends are rusty? Are they robots? That's pretty emo.
As Hope Dies I don't think Hope would appreciate this.
As I Lay Dying OK, it's a Faulkner reference, but that doesn't make it any less angsty and an overall lame band name.
As Tall as Lions when you think about it, lions aren't very tall. Let's hope this is a reference to something I'm just not cool enough to know.
Bedlight For Blue Eyes This makes no sense. It sounds like a reject from the brainstorming session that spawned Death Cab For Cutie.
Better than A Thousand

would that be 1001?

Between the Buried and Me the buried are the best secret-keepers.
Biff Bang Pow! Cute. Yawn.
Black Tape for a Blue Girl Red Tape for a Green Girl would have been what happened when that chick on Star Trek tried to apply for a passport. I don't know what this one is about.
Blood Has Been Shed Over-dramatic, AND gratuitous use of the passive voice!
Born Against maybe they'll get over it eventually.
Boy Sets Fire this is what happens when they watch too much Beavis and Butthead.
Bullet for my Valentine Oh, the angst is killing me!
The Buried Cry only until their air runs out.
Bury Your Dead Ok, I will. Good idea.
Caustic Soda lye + ginger ale. It might clean your bathtub nicely.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Or don't. It's your choice.
Cryptic Slaughter If I'm going to slaughter someone, I prefer a straightforward approach, myself.
Deadly Blessing it's a blessing... but it's deadly! Whoa, hardcore!
Death Cab For Cutie Yeah, it's a reference to something obscure. We're not cool enough to know what it is.
Elevator Through I'm confused. Is this a command?
Enuff Z'Nuff The Spelling Police are having a field day with this one.
Even As We Speak Even as we speak, bands are coming up with lame names for themselves!
Every Time I Die I hate when that happens.
Eyehategod space violation... and what's with the "eye" part?
Facedowninshit With spaces between the words, this is just kinda cliché.
Fear Before the March of Flames If they only had some punctuation marks, it would violate all my Laws of Irritation!
Fordirelifesake the Space Police are making an arrest here.
Funeral For a Friend Awww, the Hot Topic angst spilleth over.
Further Seems Forever Don't'cha hate that?
Gentle Despite go ahead-- finish the sentence. It's ok!
godheadSilo I just don't get it. Even with spaces.
Godspeed, you Black Emperor! I can't touch this one.
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci ok then.
greatdayforup even if this had spaces it still makes no sense.
Hellogoodbye "we are really, really white."
Her Space Holiday I hope she sends a postcard.
I Am Kloot want a medal?
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness this is an either/or situation?
Impaled Nazarene Poor Nazarene.
It Dies Today good.
Jimmy Eat World Is this a command?
Kill Switch...Klick Where to begin?
Kyuss It's pronounced KY-is (like Caius), but nobody ever says it that way. Boo.
Love/Hate I suppose they could have made it LoveHate and I would have been more annoyed.
Magnolia Electric Co. Sounds pretty--- but why?
Man is the Bastard Glad we got that cleared up.
Man… or Astroman? I know this was the title of an old Sci-fi flick, but as a band name? Meh.
Matt Pond PA Is there really a place in Pennsylvania called Matt Pond, or are they just trying to be artsy?
Motion City Soundtrack I won't accept this band until Motion City votes their music the Official City Sountrack.
My Chemical Romance I told you to stop buying flowers for the rubbing alcohol!
My Dying Bride why did you marry her if you knew she was dying? Or... did you poison her? Ooh plot thickening alert!
My Morning Jacket it's in the closet next to My Dinner Jacket.
Neutral Milk Hotel you're so indie it hurts.
No Use For a Name so clever! They couldn't think of anything good?
Northern Picture Library This sounds randomly generated.
Nothing Painted Blue OK, this name has actually grown on me. I kinda like it now.
Nurse With Wound Is this ironic or something?
On The Might of Princes I'm not impressed so far.
onelinedrawing onewordbandname
Planes Mistaken for Stars Wow. Deep.
Plot to Blow Up The Eiffel Tower Plot To Have Catchy Band Name Failed.
Rein Sanction It sounds kind of cool, but makes no sense.
Say Hi To Your Mom I want to insert a "your mom" joke here, but I can't think of anything good.
Seefeel sounds like Indian food.
Septic Death at least the death isn't aseptic. Of course, if you're dead, you don't really have to worry about germs now, do you? Maybe they took Bury Your Dead's advice!
Six Organs of Admittance can't I just buy a ticket?
Somehow Hollow Is this a place name or a description?
Soundtrack of Our Lives not my life, buster!
Straylight Run The words sound kind of cool together... but do they have any meaning?
Texas Is The Reason Cute irony approaching!
The Album Leaf and don't forget it.
The For Carnation what is this? This makes no sense!!!
The Get Up Kids They listened to a lot of James Brown. You can't tell from their music, though.
The Receiving End of Sirens Huh? Wha?
the Rocking Horse Winner Did I just win a rocking horse? Or did the rocking horse win?
The Sun Sawed in 1/2 you'd need a really, really strong saw.
The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black warning! semi-obscure actress reference contained in a really long name!
This is Hell Hell is listening to your CD? Not very good advertizing, I'm afraid.
To Rococo Rot this is the sound of pretention.
Tones on Tail I picture a bunch of musical notes stuck to a squirrel's tail. Maybe this is the image they were going for.
Tora! Tora! Torrence Kinda like that old movie... only... not.
Torture Killer does this mean the killer tortures people? Or does he or she kill torture? Or is it a command to torture a killer?
TV on the Radio Is this like one of those radios that get TV stations on it? This is one of my favorite bands, but the name… oh the name…
Vivisick Oh I get it, like vivisection, only with "sick"! That's clever!
Watch Them Die This band should get together with "As All Die", "As I Lay Dying" and "Every Time I Die" and have a little death-fest.
We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It We’ve Got a Long Name And We're Gonna Make You Say It.
Where Fear and Weapons Meet Is this some kind of conference?
Widespread Bloodshed Somewhat worse than "Localized bloodshed" but not as bad as a "pandemic of bloodshed"
Windsor for the Derby I feel like I should know what this means, but I don't.
World Burns to Death Another "headline" type name-- a little too dramatic for my taste.
Wrecking Dead I picture a bunch of corpses driving cranes with wrecking balls attached. That's kind of a funny image.